I wish I could grasp a small part

of whatever it is that makes them happy

the joy of watching at a giant clock

when I know it’s five minutes to the end

I wish I could see behind the scheme

of whatever answer is avoided so brusquely

the abidance of not looking beyond the night

is why I don’t want to get lost in that event

I wish I would not feel their persistent pressure

to celebrate with them, the unknown days to come

tugged away securely under a blanket of silence

secretly hoping that daylight will bring a form of freedom

*****